Whole body:
Side views:
Well this is me for the moment. More to come soon....
XOXO
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Pics...as I promised!
I am finally posting the more recent pictures I have taken. I have compared them to the pictures from the night before surgery, what a difference. I do not always see what others seen in the comparison, but when I look at them side by side I do finally notice a difference. Thanks to all my amazing family and friends who have supported me through these changes. Love you all!!
Well this is me for the moment. More to come soon....
Well this is me for the moment. More to come soon....
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
One year ago...
Well yesterday was one year since my surgery. Wow, time flies!! I am so grateful to been given this opportunity to change my life and my health. I have learned a lot about myself and who I am this last year, and I have realized that I was so lost for so many years.
As for me...I have lost 148 pounds in my journey. I have come to terms that this is the average teenager if not more, and at times it is depressing to think I weighted that much. When I look back I see how unhealthy I really was. When you are overweight you do not realize how unhealthy you really were, until you can look back and see. I must say, I LOVE to shop now a days. I think Dan resents ever taking to me to the mall for clothes. I could spend a lot of money there now! The only negative thing I can say is that I am OVER the extra skin issues!! I can not wait to have children, because once we are done I am getting it all removed someday!! It is so frustrating to try on clothes and having to go a size bigger so the extra skin looks ok. Grrr...that is one thing I hate about shopping. However, I would rather deal with the extra skin issues then the weight and edema issues I had before.
I have learned that I have the most wonderful husband in the whole wide world :) (I have known this for a long time actually). Dan is my BFF and definitely my better half. He is my rock and always will be. He helps me when I want cookies, he reminds me that I have come so far. Sometimes a cookie is needed, but not as much as I want them. The hard thing with this journey is that my stomach is gone, but my mind is the exact same. Its frustrating, I wish candy and ice cream made me sick, then I would not crave them. I am still learning everyday, and although its been a year this is still a learning process for me. I am sure it will always be a learning process...
My family are the people I adore. I may not agree with everything they do, but they are the best and I wouldn't trade them for the world. My mom is everything to me, I couldn't live without her. Even though she gives me a hard time for eating chips or cookies at a family BBQ, I know she wants the best for me. My sisters are my best friends, and I love and adore them both. Through thick and thin, fights and disagreements, I still love them. My dad is very supportive and I love that my journey has helped him change some of his ways too, I just want everyone to be healthy. Kolby and Jayden are my little loves. I love that Kolby would always say "Your not fat, you just have extra blood" he always made me feel better even before surgery. Now he just says you are so skinnier :) I adore him! Jayden just loves my bathing suit tells me I should wear it everyday. She is such a little diva. Vickie, Conrad, and all the step-siblings (even you Karla) are all so supportive and loving. All my Aunt's, Uncle's and cousins are awesome too...Like I said, I have the best family in the world.
My friends are amazing. I am so blessed to have the people in my life I do. I wouldn't change anything! I have learned this year that people who you thought were your friends, may not have been. It's been a rough year, and I look forward to speeding time with my current friends, making new friends and seeing what the future holds.
What next in my life? Well obviously a lot of you know what one year means....
I am in the clear to get pregnant. Nothing yet of course, I need to see a lot of doctors first. I want to make sure I am cleared and the doctors have everything figured out ahead of time. With my kidney disease, I have to worry about my high blood pressure, and my medications, and what all this will mean with a baby. Hopefully soon though, Dan and I (Roxy too) are definitely ready to add a new member to our family.
I currently do not have a recent photo. Promise they will come soon, I have just been really busy with school and working a lot of OT. Time to start saving for new things hopefully soon.
Sorry it has been so long to all who like updates...I promise to be better. I know I say that a lot, but I will!!
As for me...I have lost 148 pounds in my journey. I have come to terms that this is the average teenager if not more, and at times it is depressing to think I weighted that much. When I look back I see how unhealthy I really was. When you are overweight you do not realize how unhealthy you really were, until you can look back and see. I must say, I LOVE to shop now a days. I think Dan resents ever taking to me to the mall for clothes. I could spend a lot of money there now! The only negative thing I can say is that I am OVER the extra skin issues!! I can not wait to have children, because once we are done I am getting it all removed someday!! It is so frustrating to try on clothes and having to go a size bigger so the extra skin looks ok. Grrr...that is one thing I hate about shopping. However, I would rather deal with the extra skin issues then the weight and edema issues I had before.
I have learned that I have the most wonderful husband in the whole wide world :) (I have known this for a long time actually). Dan is my BFF and definitely my better half. He is my rock and always will be. He helps me when I want cookies, he reminds me that I have come so far. Sometimes a cookie is needed, but not as much as I want them. The hard thing with this journey is that my stomach is gone, but my mind is the exact same. Its frustrating, I wish candy and ice cream made me sick, then I would not crave them. I am still learning everyday, and although its been a year this is still a learning process for me. I am sure it will always be a learning process...
My family are the people I adore. I may not agree with everything they do, but they are the best and I wouldn't trade them for the world. My mom is everything to me, I couldn't live without her. Even though she gives me a hard time for eating chips or cookies at a family BBQ, I know she wants the best for me. My sisters are my best friends, and I love and adore them both. Through thick and thin, fights and disagreements, I still love them. My dad is very supportive and I love that my journey has helped him change some of his ways too, I just want everyone to be healthy. Kolby and Jayden are my little loves. I love that Kolby would always say "Your not fat, you just have extra blood" he always made me feel better even before surgery. Now he just says you are so skinnier :) I adore him! Jayden just loves my bathing suit tells me I should wear it everyday. She is such a little diva. Vickie, Conrad, and all the step-siblings (even you Karla) are all so supportive and loving. All my Aunt's, Uncle's and cousins are awesome too...Like I said, I have the best family in the world.
My friends are amazing. I am so blessed to have the people in my life I do. I wouldn't change anything! I have learned this year that people who you thought were your friends, may not have been. It's been a rough year, and I look forward to speeding time with my current friends, making new friends and seeing what the future holds.
What next in my life? Well obviously a lot of you know what one year means....
I am in the clear to get pregnant. Nothing yet of course, I need to see a lot of doctors first. I want to make sure I am cleared and the doctors have everything figured out ahead of time. With my kidney disease, I have to worry about my high blood pressure, and my medications, and what all this will mean with a baby. Hopefully soon though, Dan and I (Roxy too) are definitely ready to add a new member to our family.
I currently do not have a recent photo. Promise they will come soon, I have just been really busy with school and working a lot of OT. Time to start saving for new things hopefully soon.
Sorry it has been so long to all who like updates...I promise to be better. I know I say that a lot, but I will!!
Friday, February 18, 2011
February 2011
So I have very much slacked on this blog idea, but I promised an update would be coming so here it is!
I am doing great! I know everyone wants to know the numbers so here they are....So far I have lost a total of 131 pounds!!! Since the day of surgery, which was August 2, 2010, I have lost 96 pounds! This is amazing to me, that in a little over 6 months I have lost so much weight! I have been kind of slacking on my exercise, and I know that I can not do this or I will fall right back into the "old me." Sometimes its hard for other to understand I think. I can not even explain the feeling, but the gym sometimes makes me feel like I am trying to become something I'm not. I am trying to be heathy, so I will be able to start a family...but its just a feeling that I can not describe. I feel bad, and I had a moment today where I realized I need to take ownership of the new me. This is me now, and how I will be for the rest of my life. Weightloss and such a change in self image is a lot harder emotionally than I ever thought. I still feel fat, and I still do not feel pretty at times. I know that a lot has changed but when will the emotions come around and I will be able to 100% enjoy being the new me. I don't know what else to say about the emotions, it is just so many changes in such little time. It's hard for me to even wrap my fingers around how much my life has changed. As for other health issues, I go see my nephrologist (kidney doctor) on March 1, 2011. I have not seen him for a few months, and I really hope that all my labs are good, and we can keep moving in the right direction. I will give a update after that appointment. :)
Other than that stuff, my life is pretty great at the moment. Dan and I are great, just waiting until my 1 year since surgery so we can hopefully start a family. August can not come soon enough!! We are both in school full time, and the RN job issue is getting better with time. I am able to help educate my patients on the importance of being heathy, and I can speak with them about personal experiences, and this can hopefully give them the hope that they too can get back to a healthier state.
Ohh I must add that I FINALLY cleaned out my closet. Dan was on my case for months regarding this issue. This was way harder than I thought it would be. Getting rid of my "fat girl" clothes was sad!! I was like can I keep this and Dan quickly said NO. I thought he was being so mean, but now I look back at that night and I am thankful he was strong enough to say no to me :) I gave away a total or 4 big moving boxes to goodwill, and now I do not have to search through all different sizes to find something to wear. It was "out with the old me, and in with the new me!" I also must add that being able to shop anywhere is way better!! I actually like shopping (never thought I would say that).
The pictures below are from the day before surgery and then today. I really only see a differnce still when I look at these side by side. So on that note, I am going to toot my own horn and say " YAY ME!! I ROCK!!" :)
I am doing great! I know everyone wants to know the numbers so here they are....So far I have lost a total of 131 pounds!!! Since the day of surgery, which was August 2, 2010, I have lost 96 pounds! This is amazing to me, that in a little over 6 months I have lost so much weight! I have been kind of slacking on my exercise, and I know that I can not do this or I will fall right back into the "old me." Sometimes its hard for other to understand I think. I can not even explain the feeling, but the gym sometimes makes me feel like I am trying to become something I'm not. I am trying to be heathy, so I will be able to start a family...but its just a feeling that I can not describe. I feel bad, and I had a moment today where I realized I need to take ownership of the new me. This is me now, and how I will be for the rest of my life. Weightloss and such a change in self image is a lot harder emotionally than I ever thought. I still feel fat, and I still do not feel pretty at times. I know that a lot has changed but when will the emotions come around and I will be able to 100% enjoy being the new me. I don't know what else to say about the emotions, it is just so many changes in such little time. It's hard for me to even wrap my fingers around how much my life has changed. As for other health issues, I go see my nephrologist (kidney doctor) on March 1, 2011. I have not seen him for a few months, and I really hope that all my labs are good, and we can keep moving in the right direction. I will give a update after that appointment. :)
Other than that stuff, my life is pretty great at the moment. Dan and I are great, just waiting until my 1 year since surgery so we can hopefully start a family. August can not come soon enough!! We are both in school full time, and the RN job issue is getting better with time. I am able to help educate my patients on the importance of being heathy, and I can speak with them about personal experiences, and this can hopefully give them the hope that they too can get back to a healthier state.
Ohh I must add that I FINALLY cleaned out my closet. Dan was on my case for months regarding this issue. This was way harder than I thought it would be. Getting rid of my "fat girl" clothes was sad!! I was like can I keep this and Dan quickly said NO. I thought he was being so mean, but now I look back at that night and I am thankful he was strong enough to say no to me :) I gave away a total or 4 big moving boxes to goodwill, and now I do not have to search through all different sizes to find something to wear. It was "out with the old me, and in with the new me!" I also must add that being able to shop anywhere is way better!! I actually like shopping (never thought I would say that).
The pictures below are from the day before surgery and then today. I really only see a differnce still when I look at these side by side. So on that note, I am going to toot my own horn and say " YAY ME!! I ROCK!!" :)
P.S. Promise to post again soon :)
Friday, December 17, 2010
December 2010
Ok I know I have not been good with updating this, but I will be much better in 2011!!
As of December 13, 2010 I have lost a total of 119 pounds! It amazes me that in less than 5 months I have lost as much as the average teenager weighs!! I am feeling great and things are working out just as I hoped. Halloween and Thansgiving were a little rough, but I made it through and still losing. It hard being around parties and food, but I know when enough is enough for me, and I do my best.
As for clothes...On my last post, I mentioned about buying jeans that were 4 sizes smaller. Now they are 5 sizes smaller!! I am wearing the same size I wore in high school, I think. That is a long time ago, and hard to remember. Also had another clothing moment that brought me to tears. As Dan and I are walking through the mall, I decided to try something on at Aeropostale (no idea if that is spelled right). As a bigger girl, the mall was never even a thought. I hardly went there becuase there was no point. Well we were at the mall, for no reason I think. As walking through I saw a sale sign and thought how nice would it be to shop here. I told Dan that soon I would be able to shop there and he told me to go try something on. I quickly denied and kept walking. The great husband he is, he said no, just try it on and then you will know where you stand on the sizes. I agreed, but did not want to do it. I have this fear that if I try on a smaller size and it does not fit, then I will be sad and feel like I felt as I did before when shopping. I went into the store and looked around, very weird feeling that was. I tried on a shirt and it fit!!! OMG it fit!!! I had to buy it!! It was a moment for me. I often do not see the changes everyone else sees, but that was a moment where I knew I had changed myself for the better. It was a moment that I got to share with Dan, and his support makes it all worth it. I would have never tried on the shirt without him believing in me. He is the bestest! :) Below is me in the first shirt I have bought in a mall since before high school!!! Love it!!
Dan and I just recently went to Disneyland, since I won a free trip off the radio. It was amazing! Being able to walk around and breath was the first noticable thing! Being overweight affects everything you do. Walking at times was just a task, not anymore!! We walked around those parks like they were nothing. I could stand in lines, and my swelling in my legs never got too bad. This was shocking to me! Another thing was that I never once thought I might not fit in a ride. Last time we went to Disneyland in 2007, that was always a thought. I was always afraid I would not fit in something and that would be so embarassing! I never wanted to have to go through that. This time that thought NEVER came into my head! I was feeling great!!
September 2007
December 2010
I found pictures of from when Dan and I just met, and I just wanted to see the comparison from years ago! I just thought it would be something fun and different.
I weight and measure at Curves on the December 28th. I will then be posting the new weight and measurements with the comparison pictures from before surgery! Im excited to see the results from that!!!
Friday, November 12, 2010
YAY ME!
100 POUNDS LOST!!!! YAY ME!
Since my surgery on August 2, 2010, I have lost a total of 100.2 pounds!! This is so exciting! I am doing this and its working they way it should :)
So about a month ago I started going to Curves as my workout program. I love that place! Its a quick 30 min in and out process. My oh my does it kick my booty everytime. I had a few rough weeks where I made bad decisions and choose to sit at home, then I realize I did not go through all this for nothing. I then got my butt up and went to work out. I hate it at the time, but afterwards I do feel better. The nice thing about Curves is they weight and measure every month. I would have loved to have the measurment before the surgery, but I have lost a lot in just the last month since I started working out. The results are in and since starting Curves on September 5, 2010 I have lost:
Bust: -2.5 inches.....Waist: -4.25 inches.....Abdomen: -2.25 inches.....Hips: -3.25 inches.....Thighs: -3.0 inches.....Arms: -1.5 inches.....Weight: -25.2 pounds
Ok I am not one to preach about working out, but man does it work. It is the last thing I want to do, but when I see numbers like this, it is atleast encouraging.
Other good news...I went shopping with my mom and Dan!! This is something that I have been dreading and very nervous about. People lose weight and are excited to fit smaller clothes, for some reason thats not me. All my weight is coming off, but at the same time its shifting to different areas. This is frustrating. I can already see extra skin hanging some places, and I am not a fan of this flab! Being healthier is worth it, but clothes just are different now. Besides me just being freaked out, I went anyways and tried on jeans. Anyone who knows me, knows that gauchos are my favorite thing. They are comfy and what I thought was decently flattering for a bigger person. Dan has hated these since the day we met. I promised him that I would get rid of them after the surgery. I never liked to wear jeans, they werent comfy and I felt fat. Wearing such a big size got depressing! Oncy my "fat" jeans didn't fit, I refused to go up a size!! REFUSED! Anyone who has gained weight understands. So to gauchos and yoga pants I went. They were comfortable and they stretched! This was great. The point to my blabber is that I went and tried on jeans. My "fat" jeans are now way to big to attempt to wear, which I must say is a awesome feeling. So when walking into the fitting rooms, I took 2 sizes smaller...still too big! EXCITING!! So what I ended up fitting was 4 SIZES SMALLER!!! Jeans that were 4 sizes smaller!! OMG I was in shock! I wanted to jump around like a 5 year old on Christmas morning! It was awesome! Now I can not wait for the day I can buy anything I like from any store, and it will fit!! I know some people can not relate to that, but I have been overweight for a long time, and shopping was NEVER a fun thing to do. Now I have some hope that I will someday like shopping and trying on clothes. Hopefully soon :)
This is a huge milestone reached on my list (I will post the list soon possibly). I am proud of myself and wanted to share!
Since my surgery on August 2, 2010, I have lost a total of 100.2 pounds!! This is so exciting! I am doing this and its working they way it should :)
So about a month ago I started going to Curves as my workout program. I love that place! Its a quick 30 min in and out process. My oh my does it kick my booty everytime. I had a few rough weeks where I made bad decisions and choose to sit at home, then I realize I did not go through all this for nothing. I then got my butt up and went to work out. I hate it at the time, but afterwards I do feel better. The nice thing about Curves is they weight and measure every month. I would have loved to have the measurment before the surgery, but I have lost a lot in just the last month since I started working out. The results are in and since starting Curves on September 5, 2010 I have lost:
Bust: -2.5 inches.....Waist: -4.25 inches.....Abdomen: -2.25 inches.....Hips: -3.25 inches.....Thighs: -3.0 inches.....Arms: -1.5 inches.....Weight: -25.2 pounds
Ok I am not one to preach about working out, but man does it work. It is the last thing I want to do, but when I see numbers like this, it is atleast encouraging.
Other good news...I went shopping with my mom and Dan!! This is something that I have been dreading and very nervous about. People lose weight and are excited to fit smaller clothes, for some reason thats not me. All my weight is coming off, but at the same time its shifting to different areas. This is frustrating. I can already see extra skin hanging some places, and I am not a fan of this flab! Being healthier is worth it, but clothes just are different now. Besides me just being freaked out, I went anyways and tried on jeans. Anyone who knows me, knows that gauchos are my favorite thing. They are comfy and what I thought was decently flattering for a bigger person. Dan has hated these since the day we met. I promised him that I would get rid of them after the surgery. I never liked to wear jeans, they werent comfy and I felt fat. Wearing such a big size got depressing! Oncy my "fat" jeans didn't fit, I refused to go up a size!! REFUSED! Anyone who has gained weight understands. So to gauchos and yoga pants I went. They were comfortable and they stretched! This was great. The point to my blabber is that I went and tried on jeans. My "fat" jeans are now way to big to attempt to wear, which I must say is a awesome feeling. So when walking into the fitting rooms, I took 2 sizes smaller...still too big! EXCITING!! So what I ended up fitting was 4 SIZES SMALLER!!! Jeans that were 4 sizes smaller!! OMG I was in shock! I wanted to jump around like a 5 year old on Christmas morning! It was awesome! Now I can not wait for the day I can buy anything I like from any store, and it will fit!! I know some people can not relate to that, but I have been overweight for a long time, and shopping was NEVER a fun thing to do. Now I have some hope that I will someday like shopping and trying on clothes. Hopefully soon :)
This is a huge milestone reached on my list (I will post the list soon possibly). I am proud of myself and wanted to share!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Update...better late than never :)
Ok I know I am a little late,and I am sorry, but here it is!
I am going great! I feel so much better than I have in a long long time. I still am not seeing exactly what others are seeing, but I know that I will get there eventually. I am learning more and more about myself and my old habits everyday. It is just sad that I had to do something so drastic to see what harm I was doing to my body everyday!!
Now lets get to the numbers since that's what everyone wants to know :) Since the preop diet (2 weeks before surgery) I have lost 88 pounds!! AMAZING!!! I get so proud of myself when I see the weight go down and down. Ok, so since surgery on August 2, 2010 I have lost 53 pounds!! 53 pounds in less than 3 months amazes me! I know there is a difference in myself, but the mentality is the same..I still see myself as a fat girl, and that will take time to overcome. I know its going to be a long long journey, and I'm ready for the ride.
On to the new me and eating. Food no longer even tastes good. I have no cravings and usually I do not even get hungry. This is weird!! :) When I am trying to think of what to eat, noting sounds good. Very weird, I guess my tastes are changing. I usually stick to my protein and a very small salad or something. The pain had gone away when eating which is nice, but I still eat a little too fast. I work on this everyday, but its hard. I also now find myself paying attention to how other people eat. Wow a lot of people eat fast..yes mom I am talking about you too :)! I also never knew what real portions were until now. I used to eat so much!!! Now people look at me weird when I take a few bites and I'm full, but of well! I do not over eat much, getting sick is no fun. I also learned that cheating (only if it is one bite) is not worth it. The guilt will eat you alive! :) ha ha.
Here are the pics I know some people have been waiting for a while and I am sorry!! Better late than never :)
I know that people had said to wear the same outfit would be nice to see how the way my clothes fit change, but the shift was incredibly huge!! I have gotten to go shopping and got shirts that were 2 sizes smaller! That was exciting! I am also able to fit into my jeans that were too small and they didn't fit anymore, so I refused to buy a larger size. This is when I learned to LOVE gauchos (which my husband hates) and yoga pants! Now those jeans are big!! I can still wear them, but they are getting to be a little too big. Hopefully I will get to go down a size or two in the near future! That would make my day!! I never liked shopping as a bigger person because there is not options and style like the smaller people have. I am excited to be able to shop anywhere...when that day comes I will be on cloud nine :) Also the date on the pictures are wrong obviously its not 2007 :)
I have had a lot of changes in my life in the past few months, but I am learning more and more about myself and who I am becoming everyday, I love it!
Monday, September 6, 2010
1 Month Post-op!
I know this is a few days late and I am sorry...
I hope this is what everyone has been waiting for :) Everything is moving downwards and its weird. Things are saggier (is that a word), so I think that is why I do not notice a huge difference...I will be trying to update more often about things in my life.... :)
Well I am officially 1 month on my way to a healthier me! I know everyone is waiting for the number and the pictures so I will make this short and sweet. The weight loss is as follows: since surgery I have lost 47 pounds and since the pre-op diet I have lost 83 pounds!! This is so exciting! I feel I am on the right track. I have rough days but overall things are great! I am still not seeing the differences in myself that others see, but I know I will eventually. Here are the pictures....I even changed to make sure I was in my black gauchos and a pink shirt like people requested :)
I hope this is what everyone has been waiting for :) Everything is moving downwards and its weird. Things are saggier (is that a word), so I think that is why I do not notice a huge difference...I will be trying to update more often about things in my life.... :)
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